Lu Rees Archives in Canberra

One of the interesting places in Canberra for children's writers (and students and readers too) is the Lu Rees Archives, which are in the University of Canberra Library building. Among other things, the Archives holds drafts of manuscripts and illustrations, as well as books of historical interest.
These are all books by Ethel Turner, who wrote, among other books, Seven Little Australians. It's now considered an Australian children's classic.
And this is Margaret Wild, who donated many of her papers to the Archives last week. Here, she is standing in front of a display of her picture book, Fox, illustrated by Ron Brooks. It's one of my favourite books, and has won many awards.

Canberra at Minus 4 Degrees

Frosty football field!
Three days in Canberra whizzed by. I did ten sessions, covering six different schools (at one school I did three writing workshops in one day) and had a great time. Everything is amazingly well-organised, with volunteers to ferry the writers and illustrators around (unless you are foolish enough to venture out on your own - Canberra is pretty spread out, and it's easy to misjudge travel times). The kids were all great, and I had a range from Grade 2 up to Grade 6.

On Tuesday evening we all went to the Lu Rees Archives for a donation event. Margaret Wild handed over a lot of her papers - drafts, manuscripts, etc - and also someone who had bought an illustration from Lucy Goosey by Ann James then donated it to the Archives. We were given a tour of the Archives, which are in the University of Canberra Library, and it struck me how much they are managing to cram into what seems like a very small space. It'd be great if the uni could find another 2oo square metres or so for them!

After an exciting Friday last week (the CBCA Awards where I didn't have to make a speech, thank goodness - I was focusing on not tripping over when I went up for my Honour certificate), I spent the weekend with my family who had flown in for the occasion. Then off to Canberra. Trying to be healthy and remove some of the sludge in my system, I went for early morning walks each day (hi, Craig!). The first morning there was a frost, the second morning there was an even bigger frost. Unfortunately, my photos don't do the icy ground justice. My fingers may have been freezing but I did enjoy the VERY crisp air.

The Awards are Announced!

On Friday the CBCA Awards for 2008 were announced, and I'm now allowed to tell everyone that my book (above) won an Honour Book award in the Younger Readers category.
Yaayyy!
Full awards list here.
Only the winners had to make a speech, but Aaron Blabey brought the house down when he showed us his first draft of Pearl Barley and Charlie Parsley - written on a long strip of toilet paper because that was the only paper he could find when the full idea hit him (first notes were on the back of his boarding pass for his plane trip)!

Fear of Success

A few years ago, I had a great day in San Antonio with two writer friends, talking books and writing, and how do you cram writing into a jam-packed day - all that stuff that writers share and complain about, when they're not eating cakes to celebrate each other's successes (well, it was San Antonio so we ate burritos instead). One of the things we looked at was an exercise in a writing book about what do you anticipate and fear most about achieving your writing dreams. In other words, when you have plenty of books published and are (maybe) making a living from your writing, what will you be happy about and what do you think the down sides are going to be.

It was very interesting, not least because each of us had entirely different ideas on the subject. The exercise, by the way, is in Word Work by Bruce Holland Rogers. He calls it Pig Will and Pig Won't, and as you can guess, I have just found all my notes from that day, which got me thinking. We talked about what it might be like to be J.K. Rowling, who now can't go to the supermarket in peace. But she is the exception. However, as a successful writer, there are other things to fear. Like being signed up for a two or three book contract and not being able to deliver. Or writing a second novel after a very successful first, and it gets terrible reviews and your publisher hates you.

I often hear people say, "Oh, when you get published, all your problems are over." No, you just get a different set of problems! But one thing that no one talks about much is the fear of getting published. As long as you are writing only for you, you can do whatever you like. You can walk around all day in your PJs or trackie pants, you can ignore your personal grooming, you can let your fear of public speaking rule the roost and never have to confront it. You can choose to write, or not to write. Nobody is waiting for your book. Nobody cares except you.

But once you send it out, and it gets accepted, the rules change. You need to be presentable, you need to grit your teeth and work with an editor, you need to do publicity stuff - and these days, you can't kid yourself you can get away with being a recluse or a grunge eccentric. It's in your contract that you do publicity and they expect you to do it well. So there's a lot of pay-off in just writing and rewriting your book, year after year, believing that one day it will be ready. One day you'll be ready. Just not yet.

Branding or Blanding?

A few years ago, series for kids started to get "hot". We'd had the Babysitters' Club and Saddle Club for a long while, and my daughter had other series on her bookshelves (usually the theme was either animals or diaries/penpals). But then series started to become the thing. We moved from books to collectibles, with the idea that a kid who had two or three would want the whole lot, or as many as Mum or Dad would buy them. Kind of like bubblegum cards, but it was books.

Some of the early series writers, like R.L. Stine and Ann Martin, had to give way to books that had no "name" author. It was the brand that counted. Or the concept. After years of telling us that fairies were old-hat, suddenly fairies and pixies and elves were spilling off the shelves in all kinds of colours and glittery bits. The current bling series is Go Girls, but if you move up a notch, age-wise, you'll get Gossip Girls and the like.

One of my favourite series is Junie B. Jones, bad (intentionally) grammar and all. The Magic Tree House is immensely popular with kids, and I can see why. It's history and magic all tied together, for 6-8 year olds. I've read quite a few series books over the past few years, more out of curiosity than anything else. As a writer, you can't help but wonder: a) what the attraction is for kids, b) what the quality of writing is like, and c) could I come up with something like this?

I did try. I came up with what I thought was a good concept, some interesting characters, and the first book - all great stuff to show an editor, who was interested at the time. Her eventual response? Bland. I'd played it way too safe, trying to either emulate what was already out there or stick too close to what had already been done. That's the thing about publishing - the good editors are looking for the next new/different thing, and the editors who just want more of the same aren't who you want to work with, mostly.

So what is a series? Mostly - it's about branding, I think. It's why you get series with a bunch of different author names on it and no one cares. Penguin have several chapter book series and none of the authors get their "name" from being published in them. The kids recognise the distinctive die-cut covers first, then they say, "Oh, you wrote that!" R.L. Stine is a very distinctive name in series fiction for kids, but any kid will immediately equate his name with horror - scary stuff. If he ever tried to write, say, nice horse books, his readers would be greatly disappointed. They're ready for blood and guts (but not actual death).

We hear a lot about branding these days. I teach it to students - gee, I even have a Powerpoint on it! And I've done a couple of seminars on branding for writers. Has any of that led me to developing my own brand? Nup. Wish it had. But I'm caught in my own loop - I'd like some kind of recognisable "thing" about my books, but I want to be free to write whatever I want. That means everything from picture books for toddlers to edgy YA. I've had both published. It's a bit hard to find a brand for myself that covers both of those areas, let alone chapter books about very small pirates and award-winning verse novels!

I look at children's writers like Morris Gleitzman and Andy Griffiths, both of whom write very recognisable books aimed at (mostly) 10-12 year old boys. That's their thing, and they are doing very well at it. Sonya Hartnett writes very literary novels for readers 16+ and adults. While she has been complaining for years that she doesn't earn enough from them, winning the Astrid Lindgren recently should be enough to make her happy. And the thing is, the one book she did write out of her "zone" was an erotic novel for adults that sparked a lot of publicity, mostly bad.

So branding can be both good and bad. It can garner you a loyal following, sometimes that will spread into million-seller books. I love Ian Rankin's books, and I always enjoy reading about his character, Rebus. Would I read a Rankin book that wasn't about Rebus? If it was crime, probably. If it was romance, probably not. Writers who write the same kind of book, over and over, will grow a fan base. One that could well turn on them if they step out of their chosen field. Or produce a book that the fans don't like. I was interested to read, for example, of the backlash against Stephanie Meyer's latest book in her vampire series.

I think the biggest problem that writers face with branding is not so much being forced to stay in their recognised genre and type of book, but that in finding themselves there, they end up writing stuff that is sub-standard in order to feed the mob. And for new writers, the danger is what I encountered - writing "safe" in order to try and break in. In this time of "hot and new", editors don't want safe - they want innovative and different. That means taking risks and hoping someone loves what you're trying to do (and lying awake, night after night, coming up with ideas and throwing them away because they've been done already).

I have two series now, both accidental. One is the chapter book series about The Littlest Pirate, the other is about a character called Tracey Binns. My biggest challenge is to keep the characters fresh and new for me, before anyone else. Then it's about maintaining the voice, developing the character a little more in each story, and most importantly, trying to make each new book better than the last. It helps when you love your characters - it helps a lot! But as neither of these set out to be series when I wrote the first one, I backtrack a lot to keep it all together and make sure things are consistent. And most of all, I try very hard to stay away from bland.

Great Beginnings at an End

Thanks to Paperback Writer, who set all this up over on her blog, and provided the links so we could all do a dozen or more workshops last week (or, if you're like me, copy and paste the info for reading later - there was a heap of good stuff going on). Millions of thanks too, to the people who read this blog in the past week, and the people who bravely put their beginnings up for comment - and of course those who commented.

It's been a very interesting experience for me. I'm used to standing up in a classroom and going "Blah blah blah" and drawing diagrams on the board and getting instant responses to questions. Having to put my ideas and theories and information here on a daily basis should've been easy (especially since I've written material for a couple of online units) but it was a different kind of format. It got me thinking all over again about beginnings, and looking at a range of examples.

I did promise book prizes, so I put everyone's name in the hat and this is who fell out:
ljcohen
natalie hatch
Can you email me at the kidsbooks addy with your postal address please, so I can mail something to you? (Hope you have kids!)

Next week, things start to heat up around my place - the CBCA Awards are announced on 15 August, I'm off to Canberra for Children's Book Week, and then in September I am going to France (to research, write, take photos, create a book or two, and immerse myself in a different country). Apart from reading the print off my Lonely Planet and DK guides, I'm also having a revision week this week. It's hard to imagine, but I think I have spent eight hours, on and off, on the last three sentences of one story. Maybe next year I'll do a blog workshop on endings ... No, bad idea. Because every ending depends entirely on the beginning, the middle, the set up, the pay off, the theme ...

One Last 200 words

This came a little late, but I thought I'd post it anyway and see if you would like to add comments:

*The Fire Dying*

He fought with all he knew but he didn't know enough.
They claimed immortality and they claimed Longnight -
 that the sun would shine for but a few hours each day,
and then they would reign, unchecked.
Cyran believed them. He was the last man standing.
Cyran stood naked before the assembly, the red blood of a lashing and
the black ink of his marking both stark against the pale flesh of his back.
He was too weak to cover himself, too weak to keep his eyes open to the
mages who sat before him on high seats in the shadowed room. Fear gave way
long ago to emptiness.
"Will you join us or not?" Bodris, their leader,  sounded bored.
He had killed or ruined every mage who had joined him. "The power
of the dark can be yours. You can train just as you had -
on the magics of the night."
"No."
His men were brought in now, chained. They grunted to
conceal the pain of their bondage. Cyran heard a lash fall against
Ladvic and hid his cringe.
"If that is your answer?" Bodris did not let him respond. He
turned to the other mages. "Death for this one as well? And the
others?"
"Kill me and spare me your evil," Cyran mumbled, but they heard
him.

Opening No. 9

For the thousandth time, Isabel wished Jared had sent someone else to 
cover this story. Taking a deep breath, she composed a professional 
expression on her face and followed the mother up the stairs.

Isabel paused at the threshold of the girl's room. Sera Campbell's ashen 
face and blond hair stood out against the oppressively cheerful pink 
bedspread. Pink curtains filtered the afternoon sun, filling the room 
with pastel light.

"Sweetie? This is Ms. Jepsen, the reporter I told you about. Remember?"

The girl's eyes were open in a fixed stare.

Isabel perched on the edge of a wicker rocking chair next to the bed. 
Turning her tablet to record, she leaned close to the girl. "Sera, can 
you hear me?"

The child's slow breathing never changed its cadence. Isabel reached out 
with her full senses and felt nothing. She shivered. Even mindblinds had 
an echo, but Sera was like a life sized hollow doll. Isabel forced 
herself to swallow against a rising tide of nausea.

LJCohen

Opening No. 8

The blacked out windows of the Rockhampton National
Dance Hall might hide the light, but any passing invader
could find it by sound.  Cares and inhibitions were thrown
away for just a short time.  Some lights could be
seen twinkling as bodies jumped and swung past the
open entrance.  People were already milling around
outside trying to cool off.  A few couples
were trying very hard to find a more romantic place
in order to spend time together.

Heather knew some of those girls would be
getting themselves into hot water pretty soon, and
once Beatrice Price knew,
then so would whole district.  Rockhampton's
small town society ostracized those who didn't
conform to their rules.  It helped her
determination to not succumb to
any stupid behaviour.

Jeeps started arriving with loads of sexed-up
American GIs whooping and hollering up the street.
It was sure to upset the locals, who were
sitting down to listen to their favourite radio show.
One thing was for certain, the boys were here
for a good time, if not a long one.

They were a conglomeration of khaki suits with slicked
back hair, big smiles and big plans for the evening.  

Opening No. 7

In Living Color

From the moment the handler pulled the gate, Duke knew he was going
to die. The Brahma bull beneath him rocketed into the arena,
scattering dust and slinging spit and jarring Duke to the bone every
time it flung its one-ton body into the air and landed stiff-legged
in the dirt again. All he could do was hang on for dear life and
hope the folks in the emergency room wouldn't
do anything heroic.

All in all, he had to admit this time around hadn't been so bad.
Not at all like the last trip, which ended more ignominiously
than most. The previous jaunt would have been humorous
if it hadn't been so, well, bizarre. Who knew
pianos really could fall from twelfth-story windows and crush
innocent bystanders while the world watched in horrified
amazement? The experience still registered like something
out of a Saturday-morning cartoon. "There I
was, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I looked
up and a piano was headed straight for me." Who would
believe a story like that? Duke wasn't sure he believed it
himself, even though he had seen it with his own
eyes - up close and in living color.

Opening No. 6

I realise some of these are spreading across the page - it's hard to judge where the lines should end as I copy and paste. On to the next!

"Bump in the Night" by B.L.Borowetz

Sometimes life hands you lemon slices, and I guess the
smart thing to do would be make Gin Tonics . But when
your cosmic surprise turns out to be a slug clinging to your
clothing, the best thing to do is go back to bed and
stay there.

I so need to listen to my own advice.

I'd been up all night, out in the city fulfilling my destiny, saving
mankind. It's a great gig most days, but plays hell on the
wardrobe. First thing I noticed when I woke was the clothing
on the floor, where I'd stripped down as the sun had been
coming up. My favorite pair of leather pants were totally
shredded, and the suede designer jacket hadn't fared much
better.

Now I can handle monsters of the dark making a grab for
me with their numerous stinging tentacles, or poisonous
venom spewed my way is all in a day's work. If some bitch
from the demon realm wants to go all chick-fit in
a fight and starts pulling hair, I can deal. But the loss of
favorite pants and jacket on the same night, due to some
crack-head knife-wielding psycho that I'd inadvertently
bumped into while getting a soda at the corner 7-11
really pissed me off. 

Opening No. 5

My legs stretched as far as they could, carrying me across the forest path.
Rocks and roots pressed against my bare feet - my slippers had shredded
 and fallen off long ago - but I did not care. I just had to run. I even could
not quite remember what I was running from. All I remembered was sharp,
shiny weapons of destruction.
They had destroyed the life that I had peacefully led for the past few years.
They were likely to destroy any peace that I had in this life. The only way
that I would be able to have any peace would be in death. Even there,
I doubted that they would not continue to hound me. The High King's
Myrmidon were persistent, to say the least.
The fatigue was starting to soak into my muscles. It clouded my mind;
my defences fell away and my pain immunity faded. I slowed, jogging
along the path, and then completely stopped. I bent over double as dizziness
assaulted me. My stomach heaved, but there was nothing left to throw up.
I smacked my lips, wishing for water to clear the bitter taste from my mouth. I
wiped my hand along my mouth, wincing as all the scratches protested.

ManiacScribbler 

Opening No. 4

I shake my head in disbelief it's him. Ethan, right in front of me, walking towards the
water. I would know his walk and frame anywhere, even after thirty years. I fight the urge
to run up to him and say, "I can't believe you're here! I never stopped loving
you! Why aren't you dead? And why are you in New Hampshire?"

"Whoa, hold on. Don't you think you should look at his face?" The small voice
in my head speaks, overpowering the throbbing sounds that rise through my throat and into my
ears. I turn and see Jennifer; she's getting ready to leave.

I feel like shouting, "Jennifer the love of my life came back from the dead, and
he's here, on the beach. We can't leave." I fear she'll think I'm nuts.
We haven't known each other long and Jen is not used to my idiosyncrasies.

"Jennifer, you getting ready to go?" Nothing like asking the obvious.

"I'm a bit tired and I want to be awake driving home. Do you mind?"

"Not if I can take another dip." I really don't feel like swimming, but he is
in the water and I need to see his face.

jerzegurl 

Opening No. 3

 I think I broke a lot of your rules for dangerous beginnings here.  Prologue. Not the
main character (though he is A main character as villain).

The body lay on the bed in a pool of rose petals.  Pure crimson.  The color
of love.  Of desire.  Of death.  Rigor mortis had come and gone, leaving her
as easy to manipulate and pose as a doll.  He dressed his doll in the satin
nightgown he'd found among Mackensie's things.  The shoes she'd kicked off
upon her return from the wedding lay discarded near the doorway.  The dress
she'd changed out of and so carefully draped over the footboard was now
artfully pooled in the floor.  It had been a last minute addition to the
plan�a stroke of inspiration to dress the body in Mackensie's clothes, to
set the stage as if she were waiting for the lover she'd taken here so many
years ago.

His lips curved in perverse delight.  He'd been waiting so long for this
opportunity�for her to come back to the hometown she'd cut and run from
twelve years before.  And who would have thought she would deliberately stay
*here* in this cabin, where things had gone so dramatically wrong for her?
What a delightful bonus to begin the game here.  Oh, how he wished he could
see the look on her face when she returned to find his carefully constructed
tableau.

Kathleen Gresham

Opening No. 2

A knock at the door startled Vera's packing. She grabbed some gowns and
dumped them over her travel case.

She opened the door a crack. It was Grey. Even with his mouth twisted into a
tight line of disapproval, the dark strands of his hair falling across his
face made Vera's heart do double back-flips. Vera schooled herself. This was
not the time to indulge her crush.

"Yes?" she said, injecting a note of irritation into her voice.

"What are you up to?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her. He pushed the
door all the way open and strode into her room.

"Excuse me!" Vera drew herself up to her full height and placed her hands on
her hips.

He ignored her, tugging her travel case from out under the pile of clothes.
"Really Vera. What would your parents say?"

"My parents," Vera repeated, choking a little bit on the words. She blinked
and swallowed. "They would..." She took a deep breath. "They'd want me to
leave; they didn't want me to end up serving that man."

"That man? I assume you mean the king?" He frowned at her. "And just where
are you planning on going?" 

Opening No. 1

Life is sorrow. Lynn Hana Alexander balanced on one leg, eyes closed, and pretended
to be a tree. Her grandmother always said a calm mind could conquer anything. She focused on
the white noise of Houston traffic seeping into her apartment and imagined her outstretched
arms as strong branches reaching toward light. All her sorrows and worries dropped one by
one like dead leaves, spun and fluttered as the wind of her will tossed them far, far away.

The shrill ring of the phone startled her into planting both feet on the meditation mat. Her
aching arms sagged to her sides. Who on earth would be calling her at seven a.m. on a
Sunday? She should have turned the phone off.

Lynn inhaled deeply, and exhaled listening to the second ring. Probably her mom calling to
discuss table centerpieces or some other wedding related matter. She groaned. The last
person she wanted to talk to and the last topic on earth she wanted to discuss.

A third ring. Mommy dearest could leave a message. She closed her eyes and focused on the
First Noble Truth: Life is sorrow.

Fourth ring. Hope leapt in her heart and her eyes flew open. Maybe Rob had come
to his senses.

RK 

Great Beginnings - Day Five

Here we are - it's time to look at your 200 words. I'm going to concentrate on posting them first - individually - and then I will come back and put my comments in.

What would be great is if you all comment too, and here are the key things I think you should look for:
* As the reader, do you understand what is going on? Who is in the story? Where and when it's taking place? In other words, are you "situated"?
* Do you think the tone is clear? Do you know what kind of book it's going to be?
* Are there plenty of hooks and story questions? Do you want to keep reading?
* If there is anything that didn't work for you, please tell us why (this is your job as a writer, as well as a reader - to understand why something didn't work for you).

Remember, too, that we all like different kinds of stories, so don't let your dislike of a certain genre stop you from considering these openings in terms of craft and key elements.
And I will try not to be too snarky!!

Great Beginnings - Day Four

Today I'm going to start with what I think is a great beginning. Actually, every novel I've read by Michael Robotham has a great beginning. Maybe it's because he was a journalist and he knows what you need to pull the reader in. It was hard to choose, but I've picked Lost (and a big thank you to Michael who gave me permission to use this):

The Thames, London
I remember someone once telling me that you know it's cold when you see a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. It's colder than that now. My mouth is numb and every breath like slivers of ice in my lungs.
People are shouting and shining torches in my eyes. In the meantime, I'm hugging this big yellow-painted buoy like it's Marilyn Monroe. A very fat Marilyn Monroe, after she took all the pills and went to seed.
My favourite Monroe film is Some Like It Hot with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis. I don't know why I should think of that now, although how anyone could mistake Jack Lemmon for a woman is beyond me.
A guy with a really thick moustache and pizza breath is panting in my ear. He's wearing a life vest and trying to peel my fingers away from the buoy. I'm too cold to move. He wraps his arms around my chest and pulls me backwards through the water. More people, silhouetted against the lights, take hold of my arms, lifting me onto the deck.
'Jesus, look at his leg!' someone says.
'He's been shot!'

Why do I think this works? Look at all the story questions - we know he's in the water, clinging to a buoy, but we don't know why. We don't know who he is but we know he's in trouble (maybe dying from hypothermia because of the way his mind is wandering). We know it's freezing cold. We know that underneath what's happening to him, this guy observes things and notes them mentally (important in terms of a large plot element). And Robotham makes us wait through the meandering mental stuff to that moment of shock - he hasn't just fallen in, he's been shot.

Part of this is pacing, and part of this is that balance between not giving the reader everything up front (making us wait, making us want to find out) but not confusing us. He tells us at the top that this is the Thames in London - a simple device that saves a lot of time and trouble. The other Robotham book I'm reading at the moment, The Suspect, starts with the main character, a psychologist, up on a hospital roof with a teenage boy who is about to jump off. So both books start with life-and-death situations. That works for me!

Danger Zones in Beginnings
Yesterday I talked about the dangers of using a prologue as your beginning, so I won't go there again, but here are some others:
Starting with Setting
Setting on its own is boring. Once upon a time, novels used to start with two pages of setting before a human entered. Nowadays, readers often skip long setting descriptions - you may not like it but it's true. Setting is not action. It's not movement forward. And it very rarely is conflict. You could say that a snowstorm implies conflict - not until there's a human in that storm, in danger. And I'd still rather start with the character and his/her fear of that storm, and desperate desire to survive. Readers don't connect with setting on an emotional level. It's not really a hook or a question.

So you can certainly start with some setting - of course you need it somewhere in there, because it's part of situating the reader (that was yesterday's post) - but the key element here is that your setting needs to be vital to what is happening. The action or conflict. The excerpt above has the icy Thames as its setting - have another look and see how many words are used that actually only describe the place. Apart from the heading, none. Every single word to do with setting is strongly connected to the main character and what is happening to him.

Starting with Dialogue
It's great to start with dialogue - I've done it myself. What doesn't work is dialogue that has no speaker identification, and hangs out there in limbo as a stream of sentences. The reader very quickly gets annoyed because they don't know who's talking, where they are, and often it's not apparent what the dialogue is even about. It looks snappy and fast-paced, but 99% of the time it doesn't work.

Starting with Backstory
Apart from the boredom factor, starting with a whole heap of backstory is Telling. What you're really doing is trying to explain to the reader why your character is like they are. Show us in the story, don't tell us all this stuff at the beginning (don't tell us any time in the story). We read to discover, we read to be surprised, we read to understand. If you give us all this backstory, you aren't letting readers do their job (yes, you have to give the reader room to be in the story too).

Starting with a Dream
Oops, I'm guilty of this! But I made darned sure that the dream was: a) very short and dramatic, b) very dreamlike, c) very clear to the reader what it was. A dream doesn't work when: you don't tell the reader until pages later and they feel tricked; it goes on and on without much purpose; you make it too much like a real dream which is fragmented and weird and nonsensical; you make it too orderly so that it's obvious you're trying to use it as some kind of device to give the reader information; it's boring; it doesn't move the story forward in any way.

Starting with Your Character Waking Up
Everybody wakes up. Yawn. Waking up starts the day - it doesn't start any significant action. Unless your character wakes up and their house is on fire. In that case, we can skip the stretching and the looking for the slippers and the banging on the alarm clock and the cat jumping on the bed and the smell of the spouse brewing coffee and the shower and the ... You get the picture. Waking up doesn't provide movement forward, precipitating action and immediate conflict and reaction from your character. An earthquake or a fire or a bomb might. (To this Danger you can add any other everyday habit a person does which is ultimately boring.)

Starting with a Character Who is Not Your Main Character
This is a viewpoint thing, and part of situating your reader. If you make it absolutely clear that the first character the reader meets is not the main character, you could get away with it. But the reader expects that the first voice they hear, the first person they "see" will be the Number One person in this novel. We can't help it - it's a reading habit, I guess. We're looking to invest in the main character, we're wanting to care about them, follow them through the story. You start with someone different, it's confusing. The last thing you want is to confuse your reader, so I'd advise against this. (This might be a reason someone wants to use a prologue - so they can start with a different character. Same question as yesterday - if you were told to get rid of it, could you?)

OK, that's my list of the most dangerous ways to try and start a story. I'm sure you could find examples where writers have done any of the above and done it well. That's the key, though, isn't it - doing it well.
Now for your 200 words. You can email it to kidsbooks at optusnet dot com dot au. Put it in the body of the email (you can put your name at the bottom or not), and I will post each one separately which will allow readers to then contribute comments. My final suggestion is that before you send it, read it out loud to yourself. Listen for clunky sentences, and see if it flows. It's a good test!

Great Beginnings - Day Three

Prologues
In response to posts over the last two days, we're going to start with some stuff about prologues. Why is the anti-prologue sentiment growing? I tend to think it's for the same reason that we are told not to write rhyming picture books. Because so many people do it badly. In my "travels" (meaning conferences, forums, blogs, newsletters etc), I've heard that editors at fantasy publishing houses are not keen on prologues simply because so many are one of the following: a prophecy, a curse, or an info dump. The first two are outdated tropes, and the third is bad writing. It can apply to any kind of prologue.

Out of interest, I just went to one of my bookshelves and picked out eight books - four of them had prologues. That surprised me, I have to admit. So I took a closer look. Please note that my comments that follow here are my own personal preferences/opinions. You may well disagree.
Book 1 is A Thin Dark Line by Tami Hoag. The prologue is like a poem, presumably "written" by the killer. Another one doesn't appear until page 153. My vote: not necessary, doesn't add anything.

Book 2 is Mercy by Jodi Picoult. In the prologue, a woman holds a yard sale where she apparently sells stuff as a way of telling her husband their marriage is over. It creates intrigue - why, who are these people? Does it add anything vital to the story? Well, it introduces story questions, but when I launch into the actual story itself, I instantly forget everything in the prologue. My vote: probably could do away with it, or move it.

Book 3 is Indigo Slam by Robert Crais. (You can tell I read a lot of crime!) He hasn't called it a prologue (good thinking) - it's called SEATTLE. And the next bit is called Three Years Later: Los Angeles. So we're being given backstory, involving characters who are not the main players. My vote: this works because it is chock-full of action, fear, more action, and the feeling that I will get to find out what happens to these people, and it will matter.

Book 4 is Every Dead Thing by John Connolly. The prologue is 12 pages, and is a mix of alternating bits - the main character narrating the precipitating incident that changes his life, the villain buying flowers, and a whole heap of excerpts from police reports. I guess it's a prologue because it's about something that happens before the actual story starts, and it's about the main character. My vote: it doesn't really hold my interest. Lots of it feels like I'm being fed information. Could he have done this another way?

Obviously lots of writers use prologues. There is nothing to stop you having one. But let me ask you this - if your book was about to be accepted for publication, the offer on the table was $50,000 advance, and the editor said, "The advance is yours and the first print run will be 50,000 copies - if you lose your prologue" - could you do it? If you honestly think you could, maybe you should seriously consider it.

Situating The Reader
Opening paragraphs are tricky. We want to include story hooks or questions, we want to capture the reader's interest and make them excited about what's coming next, we want to create intrigue, we want those zinger first and second sentences, we want to grab the reader by the throat. Yep, yep, all of that. But what we don't want is for the reader to think What the heck is going on? Who are these people? Where are we? Who's talking? What is that stupid monkey doing in the car? Is this 1946 or 2008?

It's probably the key reason why beginnings are so tricky, because as well as all that hook stuff, you have to let the reader know these things: who the main character/narrator is, what POV the story is in, where and when the story is taking place, what kind of voice the story has, what the tone is, what genre it is, what level of language to expect, why the story is starting here. You have to pack all of that into the first couple of paragraphs, as well as hooking the reader into the story! No wonder we rewrite our beginnings a hundred times.

But it's also why we come back and rewrite the beginning after the novel is finished. It's like writing backwards. It's a lot easier to get voice and tone working after you've been doing it for 90,000 words. You're in the groove, you hear the narrator's voice, the tone of the novel is settled and consistent. None of that is likely to be happening when you first write page 1. And even if you are a writer who rewrites as you go (I have to write the whole first draft before I can revise), you will still need to look again at Page 1 and Chapter 1 when the thing is finished. In other words, don't panic. That's what revision is for.

Remember, too, that you created the novel, so you know the characters and setting, you know what is coming next. The reader doesn't. What often happens is the writer either leaves too much out (not realising there isn't enough there to "signpost" the reader), or overdoes it, ending up with a beginning that is way too slow and explanatory. I think two key things your opening pages (I'd say opening chapter, actually) should not have are backstory and flashbacks.

What they should have is the precipitating incident, action, conflict, and movement forward. Within these will be hooks and story questions. These are the things that make the reader want to find out what will happen next. The exercise for today is to look at your opening 200 words (no more) and identify the hooks and story questions in there. I think you should have at least three. Post one sentence only from your 200 words that you think has a hook or question in it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to post on the things that are dangerous to open with, and why. And some ways you could break the rules on them. I'm also going to post the email address tomorrow for your 200 words. I was going to put it up today, but I think you'd rather read the Dangerous List first. And then if you use something on the list anyway, we can decide if you've succeeded or not!

Great Beginnings - Day Two

Today I went for my usual walk, and it occurred to me that my 20 minutes+ is a little like a novel. I start out a bit slowly, with joints and muscles creaking and cold, and if it wasn't for the music blasting through my headphones, I might well give up and stay home (it's pretty cold here right now). But what keeps me going is not just the promise of better health and the virtuous feeling of "having walked" (kind of like that virtuous feeling of "having written"!), but the sense of setting out yet again, about to see what's new today in the neighbourhood, and the music in my ears. I choose to put things on my mp3 player that will stimulate me and keep me walking, even when my toes and face are numb.

Does the beginning of your novel provide that sense of adventure? Of rousing voice and music? Of keen interest in the possibilities in front of you?

I talked yesterday about how well-published writers already have their "contract with the reader". They've set it up through publishing several novels that show what they have to offer. But if you're a new writer, you don't have that behind you. So your job is to create a beginning that will hook any reader right into your story. Today we are focusing on two things: starting in the right place, and the first sentence. I'm going to begin this by giving a link to J.A. Konrath's blog post on bad beginnings. It's worth reading.

Starting in the Right Place
We all need to start somewhere. My friend T, who is a fantasy writer, has rewritten her novel about a million times (only kidding) but one of the key things she has wrestled with is where to begin. I think she has changed her opening chapter about eight times. This doesn't mean rewriting it - this means starting with an entirely new chapter. Do you start with the viewpoint character? Not always. I'm seeing a lot of prologues (I took 20 books off my shelf last night and checked) where the writer has started with another character, hence labelling it Prologue.

Is this a good thing? Not very often. It gives your reader the sense that you didn't know where else to put this stuff, so you stuck it at the beginning and called it a Prologue. Sometimes it's OK, sometimes the reader skips it or wonders what you think you're doing! If you need to show a different character's POV, ask yourself why. Have you done it throughout the book? I see crime novels where the writer seems to think I need to have the "villain's" side of things. Mostly, I don't, so it annoys me. Can't you take that prologue stuff and thread it into the story? And if you did, wouldn't it create more story questions and raise the tension?

Very often, in a student's story, I'll suggest they start on Page 2, or 3, or sometimes 8! But sometimes I will also suggest they start earlier. It may well be that a flashback they have inserted on Page 3 actually needs to be dramatised and become the beginning. I can hear you thinking: So how on earth will I work out where to start? I'll go back to Hooked for what I consider is very good advice - start with the inciting incident.

The inciting incident is what propels the story into motion. It implies, and must have, action, conflict, drama and movement forward. It's not description or exposition or backstory or characterisation - it is purely and simply a key point of action that makes your main character act or react. If you are starting with something that doesn't demand action or reaction, you're probably not starting in the right place.

The First Sentence
Is your first sentence a zinger? Will it make me read the first paragraph?

Is your first paragraph gripping and intriguing and fascinating? Will it make me want to read the first chapter?

Tomorrow's post will be about the ingredients. But today I want to focus on what keeps us reading. How do you write a first sentence that zings? With a lot of persistence and hard work! Very often I feel that I can't start a new story or novel without a great first sentence that will get me excited and determined to follow it up with even better sentences. Almost as often, I will come back later, in the revision process, and delete that first sentence or paragraph and persevere until I write the zinger. The one that will keep any reader glued to the page.

Here are two of my favourite first sentences:
"Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last." (Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeta Naslund) - there is so much in this: recognition of Moby Dick, a strong voice, a woman who is willing to declare herself up front, intrigue (so what will she tell me?).

"The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything." (The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness) - a friend read the first paragraph of this book and said "That voice and bad grammar would put me right off". I love it - it tells me immediately that something different is happening, and I want to know what, and who this person is. (Yes, it's two sentences, but the second one is short.)

And some crime examples:
"I don't mean to bitch, but in the future I intend to hesitate before I do a favour for a friend of a friend." (L is for Lawless by Sue Grafton)
"The old lady had changed her mind about dying but by then it was too late." (City of Bones by Michael Connolly)
"The day I got the murder book, I was still thinking about Paris." (The Murder Book by Jonathan Kellerman)

I want to make a point here - many of my favourite opening sentences come from middle grade and YA novels. These writers know they've got a tough audience. They know how important it is to scoop the reader in. My crime examples above come from writers who aren't sleeping on the job - these are not their first novels by a long way, but they still understand how important it is to grab the reader by the throat and hold on. And build on it.

Today's exercise is a double-barrel (if you choose, otherwise choose just one). In the Comments, post your favourite opening line from a novel or story - don't forget to tell us where it comes from, and you could also say why you like it, why it works for you. Two sentences allowed only if one of them is less than three words.
And you can also post your own opening sentence of your novel or story - but make sure it's a goodie!