I have just been to the Youth Literature conference in Melbourne - Reading Matters. Another excellent conference organised by Agnes Nieuwenhuizen and her trusty band of Mike and Lili. Over 300 people there this time, more than ever, but mostly teachers and librarians. It is not a writing conference, it is a books and reading conference and focuses on new books and writers, how stories are written (which is the bit of interest to me) and ideas and issues.
There was quite a bit of emphasis on issues this time - lots of talk about refugees, how to write fiction that explores issues without being didactic, do books make a difference? The overseas guests were Adeline Yen Mah, Tessa Duder (NZ), Karen Levine (Canada), Malorie Blackman (UK) and David Fickling (UK).
David F was of the most interest to me as he is a publisher and his authors include Phillip Pullman and Mark Haddon. He was very genuine, humorous and gave me, as a writer, hope about the state of publishing. I have problems with the bean counters, the ones who write the contracts, and there were a few editors and publishers in the audience. When he spoke about books with such passion and described how to "capture" an author (kind of like enticing fairies or elves - leaving delicious food out on the lawn and staying very, very quiet), I saw a lot of the editors nodding and smiling. A heartening sight.
There were some very good sessions - for example, one on girls's stories and one on boys' stories which raised some interesting points. Malorie Blackman was very energetic and talked about her writing with great enthusiasm and clarity. Karen Levine did a presentation on her book "Hana's Suitcase" which is about a suitcase which survived the Holocaust and how this Japanese woman tracked down who owned it (a 13 year old girl who died at Auschwitz) and then found the girl's only surviving relative. There were quite a few tears in the audience for that session!
My favourite quote for the weekend was "Outside a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx.

Tried to work on the novel on the weekend - tried to focus, but nothing was happening. I was in that space where I hated the whole darn thing and wished I'd never written it! Well, not quite, but I think that's why sometimes I find rewriting so hard. There are days of writing like that too. Some days you sing, some days you groan.
I put it away and decided to come back to it in a few days when I feel more positive. In the meantime I have been writing poems, experimenting with a new verse novel idea. As if I don't have enough just-started or unfinished pieces hanging around. This is where I marvel at Jane Yolen, who talks in her journal about working on all sorts of things all the time, going from one to the other.
That raises the eternal question for me - if I was able to write full-time, would I have the discipline to produce? At the moment, I squeeze writing in amongst teaching and other necessities, and I'm pretty determined to find those spaces of time. But if all I had was time, would I use it as well?
On the reading front, I read Louise Rennison's new book over the weekend - "And That's When it Fell Off in my Hand". (I think in the US they have titled it "Away Laughing on a Fast Camel" for some reason.) It is pure fun, had me laughing out loud quite a few times, and thoroughly cheered me up.

I have been looking at a few other blogs recently - it's fascinating to see all the different styles and approaches. One was writing and poetry news items only (quite boring but useful), another was aimed at teen readers.
I have been reading Jane Yolen's online journal for several months now. She is so down-to-earth and talks about what she is working on, as well as rejections and acceptances of manuscripts and news from home. She likes readers to email her with comments and I've been quite excited to see that recently she has used a couple of my emails. I did enjoy her story of the fat and gaunt cows. Go to www.janeyolen.com and click on the journal link.
The early part of the week is always about teaching for me. Workshopping in most classes is either underway or about to start. It can be a tedious exercise if students don't contribute or understand what they can get out of it. I know that at the moment it's feeding back into my own writing by showing me how to more easily cut out what is not necessary, and also to acknowledge my gut feelings about a section. The tendency is to ignore that feeling - to think, Oh it'll be OK as it is.
On the weekend I had a three page section that had a lot of necessary explanation in it. That's what I told myself at first. Then I had to acknowledge that those pages were long and wordy, and find a way to trim them back.
What is hardest to workshop is the great story that is well written, but something just isn't working in it. We had one of those the other day, and it took a while before I could hone in on what it was. Basically it was the movement back and forth in time - too slow and explanatory. Everything in the story could easily take place in the "now" of the story. I'm looking forward to seeing what the student does with it, as it is potentially a very good story.

Yesterday we had a forum for children's writers which went well. Lisa Riley from Penguin spoke (or should I say, she answered my prepared questions and then lots of audience questions) and of course everyone asked about the series (Nibbles, Bites and Chomps). She was very generous with her information and advice.
Meredith Costain was the guest writer. Her experience and range of books is amazing. Lots of non-fiction, which I wish I could write, or at least feel more committed about writing, and beginner readers that really interest me. They are a real challenge - making something substantial out of so few words.
The Q&A session was interesting - a bit unfocused, I thought, which was possibly my fault, but I'm not sure how we could have done it differently. It seemed to get sidetracked a lot. However, in the evaluations people gave good suggestions on what they'd like next time. Many requests for business pointers, how to make the business side run more smoothly and how to deal with tax etc.
I have been working on the middle grade novel, cutting mostly, and so far have got rid of about 9 pages. It's great to be able to finally stand back from the story a bit and see what isn't necessary, what is slowing it down. I had one whole scene and when I looked at it again, I thought - why is that there? So out it went.
Trimming and cutting - with big editor's scissors, not writer's clinging - will continue!
Despite trying twice and also emailing Blogger people for help, the Comments function still does not work here. But you can email me at kidsbooks@optusnet.com.au

At last, after what seems like months (but is only probably 10 days), I have some writing time. Never mind that I have assignments to mark - they can wait until the weekend. Today is free for writing! (And here I am blogging!)
I have tried to add the "Add comments" action to this blog to see if I get any responses, but as I had to cut and paste some HTML, who knows if it will work.
In my Novel 2 class on Wednesday, we finished our last discussion on "House of Sand and Fog". Have been reading large chunks of it week by week and discussing (with set questions from me) as we go along. It has been fascinating to hear the heated discussions over the characters, who they feel the most sympathy for and how the voices and characters work for them.
I chose the book because of the dual point of view and the depth of characterisation, and although most students felt it was a dark book with little hope, it sure got them talking! I don't know if Dubus has published another one since, but I must check.
I received a contract back this week - for a beginner reader - and was pleasantly surprised to see that they had accepted all of my amendments. Even the one where I limited them to 3 years on unused rights. Then I got an email to say the publisher has been bought out by someone else, so who knows what will happen. The editor says the series is still going ahead. Hmmm.
I think I am ready to tackle the rewrite of my middle grade novel. It needs a new beginning and probably 25% cut from the first 70 pages. That'll be a challenge!

Last week I tried out the Book Crossing website - it's where you "release" books into the wild - as in, you leave a book somewhere like a tram or train or park seat, along with a sticker or book plate to explain what Book Crossing is. Whoever picks up the book is asked to log in to the site, using the code number you have put in the book, and say what they are going to do with it - where they leave it after they have read it. It's like the "pass the parcel" game we used to play at parties as kids. Except everyone who finds the book gets a free reading experience, they get to participate in logging in and tracking the book, and they get to release it again.
It's a lot of fun. I released a copy of "Farm Kid" because it is a kid's book that has just been shortlisted for the NSW Premier's Awards and no one seems to know about it. Like many poetry books, it languishes behind fiction and I wanted to try new ways of getting it out to readers. We shall see where it goes!
I have done no writing for 5 days - have been at a beach resort helping 2 friends to celebrate 50th birthdays. Came home and started a poem, but also have been rethinking my middle grade novel and playing with possibilities on how to cut the first half of the book back by 25% and get the pace moving more.
I have also been reading Elizabeth George's new novel and loving it. Nearly 600 pages and I only have about 20 pages to go. It is so fabulous to be deep into a great book, and enjoying it so much that you don't want it to end. I want to take some of her descriptions of places and use them in my classes for exercises and examples.
Ten stars to EG!

After having it on my shelf for about 2 years, I finally got around to reading "Hatchet" by Gary Paulsen, and thought it was terrific. As a writer, to have a whole book of mostly just one character doing stuff to survive sounds like such a hard sell - how not to be boring! But the boy is so well written, and I was almost disappointed when he was rescued. He learned so much, and made lots of mistakes, and each challenge got bigger and bigger - great example of raising the stakes.
I also read a new book from the library "The Boy Who Spoke Dog" by Clay Morgan. It was quite different, and had two points of view - the shipwrecked boy and the dog, Moxie. To read chapters from the dog's POV was so interesting. I thought he captured dog thoughts really well. Sad ending.
Writing has come to a halt, not for lack of time but lack of impetus right now. After finishing the first draft of the fantasy novel (which isn't due to the publisher for 3 months yet so plenty of time for rewriting and polishing), I feel at a loose end, not yet able to fully focus back on the historical novel. Am fiddling with other stuff in the meantime - a picture book and a historical story.
Spent nearly the whole class yesterday (Writing for Children class) going on and on about characterisation, character needs, what drives the story etc. I could see some of them start to glaze over. But now we have covered it in depth and I am happy that the class is finally taking shape after so many breaks.
Every week I want them all to have read the books I've read so we can talk about them and of course they rarely have! If I ever ran a book club, I'd have everyone reading a book a day!!

Writing can be so up and down. One day you're writing at a mile a minute, feeling like the best, most prolific, inspired writer in the world. The next day you can sit down and feel like your brain is made of mud.
I keep remembering the quote I read - Real writers write even when they don't want to. That usually keeps me at the desk!
Publishing is even more up and down. One day you can be over the moon because you've had a book accepted. A week later you can be tearing your hair out because the contract is terrible and you have to grit your teeth and negotiate somehow. And then your book comes out and gets a bad review.
It always comes back to the writing, I guess. If you don't love the process, the creation, the high from having written something that just might be OK - if you only are waiting for fame and recognition and maybe money - maybe you should try something else.
That's what I tell myself on the downer days, anyway.
And I also tell myself - being a writer is about perseverance and craft and always trying to do better.
BTW, am reading the 3rd Travelling Pants novel (Ann Brashares) and loving it - more than the first two. She really gets the emotional stuff with her characters working so well.

Have just finished reading "How I Live Now" by Meg Rosoff. A fascinating book - a good read that kept me turning the pages and wondering "how much worse can things get" and of course they get much worse! So also a great book for a writer to read. The voice is unusual (look at all those really long, run-on sentences that are still punctuated correctly so you can easily follow them), and the constant raising of stakes is also great to think about as a writer. So often we are too kind to our characters and so nothing much happens. In a discussion list I'm on, they talked about the US edition of the book which has a page with a large black "hole" on it - I didn't get that in my edition. Pity. I was curious to see where it was in the story.
Also interesting that the girl in the story has anorexia, and how it is talked about (well, it's not really!).
I have been slogging away, day after day (including Easter) on the first draft of the fantasy novel, and yesterday I finished it. Then of course last night I lay in bed and thought about all the things I should have tied up at the end and didn't, so the first job is to go back and rewrite the ending. One of my faults I have to work on - don't rush the ending. Sometimes it's such a relief to finally make it that I pull the finish line towards me instead of keeping up that great pace towards it.
Oh well, what is rewriting for?
I also started a new YA novel last night - a story I have been thinking about on and off for months. It may go nowhere, but I have a beginning, so we shall see.

This up and down life. Last week all was good - writing was happening, had had two acceptances and sorted out (hopefully) a tricky contract, teaching was up and running ... then what happens? My agent doesn't feel my new novel is working. I get a rejection from an editor who'd held something for 4 months that I was really hopeful about. My husband loses his job and is not coping with being at home.
It doesn't take much, does it? Suddenly you feel like being a writer is the most demoralising job in the world!
But then I received a weekly email writers' newsletter and there is an article about Dealing with Discouragement. It talks about feeling low and why you might want to give up if you can't cope with the *many* discouraging things that will inevitably come your way as a writer. And how we often encourage people to keep writing and keep trying to get published even though it makes them miserable...
And I suddenly think - Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Writing makes you feel ten times (make that a thousand times) better than anything else you do, published or not. And I also remind myself that I am doing OK, really OK, and it's silly to let a few bad moments get me down. And I pick myself up and get going again.
11,000+ words in 3 weeks is good. That's what I will focus on.

I have been working on the fantasy novel I was commissioned to write, using an outline that they approved first, and a plot diagram. About 10,000 words so far, and feeling OK about it.
I regularly read Jane Yolen's journal, and the latest post has some very interesting comments about revision, which she has been asked about several times on her most recent tour.
I thought this was interesting as we seem to have been talking a lot in my Novel 2 class lately about rewriting and fixing things, and whether outlines help. It also came up in short story 2 class last week. They wanted to know if it was worth outlining a short story, and what I did. I had to admit that mostly I don't outline short stories, but that I often don't write a story until I have thought it out in my head and know what will happen.
I think that I have changed my writing methods over the past 2 years, mainly because I have been forced to write outlines for a couple of things (and worked out what doesn't work in outlining for me), then I did that sample for the book packager from their outline, then I tried out the stuff in the Elizabeth George book.
It's all helped. I feel now that if I do an outline that satisfies me, create it as a plot diagram (as EG does, kind of) then the writing works so much better structurally (and hopefully in other ways) that the revision part of it works better too. Not so much of the huge mass of words with no idea how to fix it except start again.
And now I also feel that I don't have the time or the energy to spend months trying to work out how to fix something. If I do the preparation stuff right, I tend to get the rest of it working better.
Anyway, just a few thoughts on this quiet Monday!!

Yesterday I had a "plot meeting" with a writer friend. Took my draft so far (35000 words) but didn't really look at it, except to check a couple of things. I also had a diagram of major scenes, and a map with dates for where my pirates went and on what date - approximately. We talked about character and plot arcs and lots of other writing stuff. I came home and have been thinking about where the story is going. Not where I planned. I seem to have changed two major character relationships in a way that is affecting the whole story.
Should I go with where the current flow is leading me? Or do I rein it back and return to the original story line? I just don't know, but my gut is telling me to go with the new flow. I think I need to read through all I've written so far and have a good, long think about it all.
I have received the go-ahead for the fantasy novel I was asked to write. It's part of a series that is selling quite well in Australia. An exciting opportunity and I am happy with the outline I prepared for them. I intend to work further, outline in more detail, so that the writing will come easier. I have a bible to work with, but as most of my story is in a new invented world, I am not that restricted.
And yesterday I spent a large amount of my time working on bum poems - or should I say, lovely poems - odes - to the bum. For an ad agency. It sure is interesting to have a website and see who contacts you through it, and why. Who knows if any of my poetic efforts will meet with approval? If they do, I'll have to suffer hearing them over and over in the media for the next however long. Penance?
Today must be a writing day. Can I juggle two novels at once? It helps that I can use similar material (pirates) but each story must be its own. I think that's where the outline will pay off.

I shouldn't be surprised at how going back to work has wrecked my writing schedule, but I am! Now it's back to squeezing writing into a few precious hours every few days. And I am mostly succeeding. Turned down a big job (freelance) in favour of writing so I am feeling virtuous.
Up to 33,000 words and still aiming to keep this under 70,000 - it's still a middle grade novel, although I could have more scope for blood and guts with a YA. My agent commented that middle graders wouldn't be interested in pirates. And I said I can only write what I feel passionate about. I've tried writing with *sales* in mind and it does not work. Trust me on that. Others can do it. Not me.
I am starting to feel that I'm getting a handle on plotting and scene construction - at last! Thank you EG.
And I'm also getting a handle on outlining. Put in an outline for a book in a fantasy series (by request) and managed to write it without too much anguish. A first for me. Usually outlines make me feel sick for days, and my brain just hits a brick wall.
And I remembered that it was one of the goals I set last year - to improve my plotting.
Goals for 2005? Writing first, routine building, no procrastination.
I read a line in an article that really hit home. "A real writer writes even when they don't want to."
Absolutely.

It's a good feeling to know I have been writing - or should I say rewriting - two out of the last three days. Still working on the first part which I wrote more than 6 months ago, but feeling confident that at last I know what to do with it, how to make it better, fix it, whatever.
I'm on a week's leave from work, making the most of it. And constantly aware of how much time work takes up, and why writers say writing full-time is the only way to produce substantial work. Always a dilemma, unsolvable.
I've been offered the opportunity to write a novel in a fantasy series, and have said yes. I think I can do both, and hope the challenge will keep me working and focused. I still battle every day with procrastination. Yesterday was so productive and I felt good at the end of it, a feeling which stayed with me all evening. But by the time I went to bed at 10pm, it had drained away into self doubt again. Always the "can I do this?" question that pulls me down. How do other writers cope with this?
My best writing friend has just been shortlisted for a mentorship and I am so pleased. She has been totally demoralised for months, thanks to a group of fellow writers (whom I can't name here) who have been what I call hateful to her all year. Several of them even more or less said she had no hope of being selected for this thing. So she has showed them! Good for her. She is a fabulous writer, but lacking in confidence like so many of us (unlike the horrible writers who are totally up themselves).
Today I have decided to do a quick library visit and then start writing. None of this putting it off until after lunch! No more excuses.

I can't even think what I did last weekend but I sure didn't write. Maybe I am kidding myself by trying to pretend I have been thinking about the novel! But I started a new character, and then it stalled.
Back at work, full speed on the 10th, so tired and the brain keeps focusing on work stuff and suddenly writing is out the door again. It's all excuses really, but I do think I am ready to tackle the rewrite of the first section and fear is creeping up. What if I am wasting my time? What do I think I am doing?
Great news yesterday that my publisher has sold one of my books to the US. That cheered me up no end. Temperature today is 38-40 degrees (over 100) which doesn't help. I need to make a commitment to myself - write no matter what, even if it is only a few pages at a time. Or even one. Just one.

Finally finished my scene outlines - some scenes became 10a, 10b, 10c, etc. Guess really they are separate scenes but whatever works right now is OK.
I have come up with a new character who I hope will add to the story when it is further in - maybe 2/3 of the way through. Is this a good thing? Hope so.
More thinking time. I need to start writing soon but the first step will be rewriting the first 20,000 words and working the foreshadowing into them.
I am starting to worry about how long this will be. The whole idea was to keep it under 80,000 words this time.
Maybe tighter writing will do it. And better plotting. I do think the earlier drafts were too wordy and not enough action.
We'll see.

Today I am procrastinating (and hoping that writing this will stir me to get out there and write. Fear. That every time I sit down, nothing will happen. Or that what does happen won't work and I won't know how to fix it.
I can never seem to see what or why something is wrong. And I guess I mean 'wrong' in terms of an editor reading it, being highly critical and judgemental which is their job. It doesn't seem enough to connect directly with kids. You have to second guess editors first.
I do know my main fault - I am always way too nice to my characters. I never raise the stakes enough. Kristi Holl's notes on tension have been so useful, but ultimately I have to tackle this one, step by step. Today I plan to start outlining. I have done my 15 scenes that EG recommends - in fact I think I have 18 or 19, so no lack of story. The outline needs to explore the story in more depth, but also to explore the characters and their relationships and how and why they do things. Motivation is not strong enough in many cases, and credibility and engagement lose impact.
I find it so hard to specify where a scene starts and ends. I know it's because I don't write in that way, especially in first person, yet maybe that is what I have to do - delineate what is a scene and what isn't. It might fix pacing problems for a start, stop me from dribbling on and on.
OK, now I feel sufficiently guilty for sitting here instead of being at my writing table, so I will go and try to get started.

Spent an hour or so working on a character yesterday. EG provides a handy character checklist, most of which I have read before in other books, but when you get to the questions about what is the event that changes your character, and what is the event that best shows their personality - those are good questions!
I also like where you have to choose one sentence from your narrative that says something about the character - what often happens is you end up with a really good line that you can use in the novel, if you don't already have one.
I like being able to think about this novel and come up with new ideas. I'm reading some other historical stuff and picking up ideas about how I should approach setting and description, and also seeing what won't work for me.
Voice - the characters and their voices. EG has a great chapter on how the characters' voices and the voice of the novel should absolutely not be your own. I do think we each have our own style/voice thing going, but maybe I need to think about putting my own voice away more firmly and allowing the characters to speak.
I went to a remainders book sale today and picked up 3 books that might be useful - all kids books with lots of pictures to help me visualise and create my settings.
Ah, what it would be to actually travel to North and South Carolina and research on the spot. A great thing to dream about.

Jan 1, 2005 - is this a New Year's resolution? No, I doubt I could keep it up. However I've been reading "Write Away" by Elizabeth George and it would have to be one of the best books about writing I have read. She is very practical, gives lots of great examples and explains stuff clearly. She also gives some terrific ideas on how to approach plotting, in particular, and setting. I was surprised that she is not from the UK (I knew she lived in the US) - she says her passion is the UK and its varied countryside and she loves to write books set there.
One of the bits I like the best was her excerpts from her journal. She has kept a journal about writing her novels for the last 4 books (as Steinbeck did) and it was amazing to see how self-doubting she is, even with all her publishing credits. She is a very good writer, and is very honest about how and why she writes. So I thought I would like to do something similar. And sometimes post it here, but not always. I already spend far too much time on the internet with various stuff, and I don't want to add to it or I'll never write anything.
But here goes.
I have decided to go back to the new version of my historical novel (henceforth known as HN). I have written about 4 versions of it so far, trying mainly to tighten the pace and cut down on the words. Trouble is, it's a novel for about 10-14 year olds and despite the huge Harry Potter's, I can't get away with 94,000 words for kids this age. Mind you, I started with 120,000 so cutting 26,000 words was a good effort, right?
This version (called Version X) was a complete new version - no cutting or fiddling. I have changed it to a timeslip novel and at my last attempt, I wrote around 20,000 words. Now, some 6 months later, I have read these through and done some heavy thinking. Do I want to commit at least another 6 months of my life to this? Can I make it a very good novel? Do I know how? Big questions.
So I have decided, yes, I will give it another try. I will rework these 20,000 first, and I will use a lot of what I have gained from the EG book. I need to spend more time thinking and plotting. Already I have come up with many great new ideas and solutions, just from taking the time to mull it over in depth.
And I am beginning with lots of free writing, building my characters, as I have had to acknowledge that I have never fully got inside my characters. They read too much like cut-outs with no depth, no motivation.
So yesterday I wrote 6 pages on Will, the main character, and already I know so much more about him. And I used EG's guide - the guts - write until something in your guts tells you that what you have will work. If you don't get that feeling, it's not right.
So, onward and upward. Get out the working table to put all my notes and research on, spend the time needed on plotting and character, take it one day at a time.

I know the idea of a blog is that you post regularly, but I guess I only really started this for myself so I'm probably the only one who knows when I have been lazy! Well, not lazy really. I have been doing a lot of writing, including stuff for a book packager which is a whole new ballgame.
I've also been to two plays, the first I've seen in over a year. "Dinner" was fantastic, the kind of play that has you entranced from beginning to end, and then talking and thinking about it for days afer. Also saw "Take Me Out" which suffered in comparison to "Dinner". It was good but at times the actors sounded forced, as if they were "performing" whereas in "Dinner" it never felt as if I was seeing a play. More like witnessing an awful evening.
Just finished "Fat Boy Rules the World" by K.L. Going. A YA novel, one of those I'd heard a lot about. I really liked it - the main character is a bit self-pitying but I felt he was struggling to overcome that all the time and in the end he does. It did focus a lot on his fat and how he felt but unlike an Australian novel I've read about a fat girl (which had the whole losing weight/happy ending thing) this one didn't resolve the fat issue by weight loss so it felt more realistic and true to the character.
Am also still reading John Murray's short story collection "A Few Short Notes on Tropical Butterflies" - very good - and trying to whittle down the pile. Should stop getting books from the library but then I should also stop buying so many.
At least I am getting more selective... well, seeing as how the prices have gone up so much, I don't have much choice. I refuse to pay $30 for a paperback.
No time to read today - too much writing to do!