It’s a strange thing, but I find writers of contemporary novels struggle the
most with setting and description. It’s as if because they’re writing about the
world around us today, they think the reader will know what they’re talking
about. Despite Google Earth and all those films and TV shows, nothing could be
further from the truth. Here’s how to learn the lessons that fantasy and
historical writers know.
The settings in your novel will benefit immensely from being unique, and
from you taking the time to work on them until they evoke strong images and
sensations in the reader’s imagination. Michael Connelly, crime writer, talks
about the “telling detail”. You don’t have to overload your paragraphs with
lengthy descriptions; rather, you write a lot in your first draft, or perhaps
leave a gap and a note, and then choose and craft those details that will bring
your story alive.
How do you do this? By focusing on one aspect at a time. What world are we
in? What makes it different from anywhere else? What makes this character stand
out? How can you describe them in two or three sentences, in a way that creates
a picture? Look at your favourite novelists and see how they do it. Reading as a
writer can teach you a huge amount. Here are two examples, one of character and
one of setting.
“He was a tall man. Nose like a bird’s beak. Eyes of a bird, too. He gave
Carl a brief glance and went on surveying the room, jerking his head in precise
movements, the way a hawk surveys the ground beneath it. The eyes missed
nothing.”
A Bridge to Wiseman’s Cove by James Moloney.
“The afternoon wore on towards evening, and the broken glass and mica of the
roadside glittered in the last, low sunlight of the day. The snowy fields
glowed briefly and went dark. At the dump the fires of burning rubbish
smouldered, red and smoky in the dusk.”
The Mouse and His Child by
Russell Hoban.
Another good question to ask yourself is how the setting and description add
to your plot. What is the weather? A snowstorm? A very hot day? Are we in a
house with faulty electrical wiring? What is that like? How might it change the
story if it goes out, or starts a fire? Does the setting influence the
character’s mood or actions/reactions in some way? Is that blue antique phone
booth something to crash into, or hide in? How do other characters react to
something specific or strange about your main characters? For example:
“We watched her sit down in class and pull from her canvas bag a blue and
yellow ruffled curtain that she draped over three sides of her desk. We saw her
set out a three-inch clear glass vase and drop into it a white and yellow
daisy. She did and undid this in every class she attended, six times a day.”
Stargirl
by Jerry Spinelli.
Another question to ask is what changes in your setting and description that
shows the reader either a passage of significant time (a season perhaps), or a
change in the characters. The simplest example of character is one who loses or
puts on weight, or deliberately changes their appearance (we ask why). In terms
of setting, it could be the result of a disaster, or positive change such as a
new queen shown by new prosperity and happy people. It can be quite small but
still significant.
An example of a wider application: if a village or suburb is described as
wealthy and filled with trees and gardens, expensive houses and well-dressed
people at the start of your novel (using specific, telling details) and later
is described as a downtrodden, ruined place, the reader can much better imagine
how and why this devastation happened, rather than you explaining it all (yes,
the old “show don’t tell” in a different way). Great details can also convey
irony and contrast, as in these small excerpts:
“But with legs slotted under metal armrests, ten thousand watts of
fluorescent light glaring directly overhead, hundreds of disgruntled travellers
for company, an abandoned acrylic airline blanket for a cover and his loyal dog
at his feet, Justin slept like a baby.”
Just In Case by Meg Rosoff.
“There were dark green dots of trees and lines of windbreaks, the flashing
of galvanised-iron roofs like little square pools of water, the tanks and sheds
and stockyards and dams, the endless boring fences. It was my country, even
more than the bush and the mountains, and definitely more than the cities and
towns. I felt at home in those hot, rustling paddocks.”
The Dead of Night
by John Marsden.
A way to use detail and description that affects readers at a deeper level
is to work with symbolism. A particular flag flying over devastation, the pits
of Mordor that symbolise death and decay, the daisy in the
Stargirl example above (what does that flower tell you about that
character?). What are evocative symbols of power? Of powerlessness? If you
choose ones that are particular to your characters, rather than just the common
ones, they will resonate more with readers. For example, a flock of abandoned
ducklings taken in and cared for by someone wrongly accused of murdering a
child. What does that convey to your reader without you spelling it out?
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, use the five senses, and use them
well. Too often, our fallback position is what we see, what our characters see.
Don’t forget sound, smell, taste and touch. A character might see a brocade
cushion, but running their fingers across it will evoke an extra sensory
detail, and perhaps it smells musty, or of a particular perfume. If a character
is lost in a large department store, that loud, grating muzak might be the
thing that sends them into a real panic or rage, or it could be the cloying
scents in the makeup area that make them faint. Sensory details often provoke
our characters into actions and decisions without them being completely aware
of what influenced them – but if you write it well, the reader will understand.
What interested me when I went looking for examples was how easy it was to
find them. So many readers (young and old) say they skip lengthy descriptive
passages, but I could have picked almost any page from these novels and
provided examples. I think the key is that they are not only short-ish, but
also very evocative, and they are in the story at a point where the reader will
benefit immensely from being able to visualize where the characters are or what
they look like. Bring your stories alive on the page, make them feel really
real, through the intensive work you do in crafting setting and description.
I have been writing a lot of these articles on writing and developing skills for Medium online. My most recent Medium article is on research for fiction writers - a much expanded version of a post that appeared here a while ago -
read it here.
