tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6727653.post6019268923041929771..comments2023-10-27T00:42:05.512+13:00Comments on Books and Writing: One Last 200 wordsSherrylhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405534589743973581noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6727653.post-20084476894786115852008-08-08T19:44:00.000+12:002008-08-08T19:44:00.000+12:00You said in your email that this was a prologue - ...You said in your email that this was a prologue - it doesn't feel like it, mainly because there is a lot of dialogue in it. You might have it as a short first chapter perhaps? And indicate clearly if this takes place before the actual story starts.<BR/>There are story questions in here (do they let him live? under what conditions? what is Longnight?) and you set the scene well.<BR/>However, I didn't think your first line was strong enough. And it wasn't clear to me what had happened and when - as if the first three sentences were somehow condensing many years of war. Again, you probably feel this is necessary for a prologue, whereas to keep me reading, I want more clarity and intrigue. A tricky combination - showing us what this all means while creating hooks to keep us reading.<BR/>Again, I ask the question: if this doesn't deserve a place in the story, can you do away with it altogether and put it into the story somehow?Sherrylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04405534589743973581noreply@blogger.com